Richard Baum

I must confess, I have been quite at a loss about what to write this week.

My usual blog fodder is the general ridiculousness of the Council meetings I have to go to. But this week there haven’t been any. 

So instead I have turned my attentions to other pursuits, and written a kids’ poem. It’s called “Barnacle Bay” and it’s got nothing whatsoever to do with politics or the Liberal Democrats. I suspect it has precisely no literary merit either. 

But your kids might like it. And if they did, that would make me as happy as all the votes in the world. So here it is. Forgive the fact that some lines seem to end in odd places. For some reason the formatting on this site is impossible for people to get right without a masters degree in computer science. Anyway, my silly poem: 

A dog and a cat and a cow and a bat and a horse and a mouse and a flea.

Hired a sailing boat down by the beach and adventured way out on the sea. 

They had heard of the legend, discovered the code, decided that they’d found a way To uncover the treasure that rested for years on an island near Barnacle Bay!  

The dog was the captain, the cat was the mate, and the bat was in charge of supplies.

The horse looked at maps and the mouse steered the wheel – his strength took them all by surprise. 

Meanwhile the flea (an adventurer he) led the search for the fabled lost treasure.

A story foretold many pieces of gold to be found giving wealth beyond measure. 

On the seventeenth day they reached Barnacle Bay and embarked with a bucket and spade.  

Hoping for jewels and silks and fruits and other discoveries to trade.  

The horse went to speak to the resident chief and they talked through a long afternoon. The chief said to horse that the best way of course was to follow the light of the moon. 

At sunset our travellers readied themselves and the bat cooked a fine hearty feast.

The dog and the cat were more scared than the bat as the moon took its flight in the east. 

Soon they departed a jovial band singing songs as they marched through the trees.

Excitement abounded as song voices sounded and laughter flowed with ease. 

The cow led the way for a night and a day as the wanderers travelled the land.

The friends knew so well what I’m sure you can tell – that their destiny was close at hand.   

The flea was soon tired and so was the mouse, they were ever so tiny of course.

They and the dog and the cat and the bat hitched a lift on the back of the horse! 

The dog fell behind but the friends didn’t mind for the straggler was only a pup. They helped him along though the journey was long and they said to him “Never give up.” 

Eventually, in a cave by the sea, came the shimmering, glittering prize.

The cow and the flea were quite dumbstruck with glee! The treasure a sight for the eyes! 

The cat said “My friends, we have come to the end, and our travels have been worth the while.”

The dog to the bat said “Well I’ll eat my hat!” and even the horse gave a smile.  The weary adventurers boarded their boat carrying all of the loot they could hold.

The cow wore four slippers made of pure finest silk, and the horse? He was dripping with gold! 

On the way back to England the comrades all spoke of the things that they’d most like to try.

The flea was quite gushing, the mouse almost blushing with all the new things he could buy. 

The cat spent his cash on some sparkling whiskers, the cow on a resonant moo. The dog bought a tail and the bat some fine wings, what a really splendid thing to do! 

The horse said he wanted a shiny new coat, which he wears, if you look, to this day!

In fact all the animals still sport the things that they won in that magical way. 

The creatures all promised to never reveal the tale of their riches and glory. That’s why they don’t speak to us, they won’t reveal to us anything of this old story. 

Their fable was secret for many a year until found by curious child.

If the animals knew who knows what they might do? It is certain that they’d be quite wild! 

But to those in the know, clues are clearly on show, like the horse with his coat shiny bright! 

The cat with his whiskers, the bat with his wings, they can’t hide them, try as they might!

So whenever you see a cat, dog, bat or flea, or a mouse, cow or horsey at play, Just put on a show, don’t pretend that you know of the treasure of Barnacle Bay!  

You may now ask of me, what about mouse and flea? Well those little friends, they were quite clever.

No-one knows what they did, not an adult nor kid, it’s a secret that’s lasted forever… 

Rick