Richard Baum

A quiet day today, dominated by work and the return of Tamsin, who arrived back from France this evening, riding a bicycle, sporting a bunch of onions round her neck, and promptly going on strike and blockading the front garden. She surrendered fairly quickly though, so all is now well bar grumbling of discontent about the length of the working week.

Ward work wise, I found out a little more about the baffling dog waste non-prosecution today. This caving in by the forces of good against the forces of irresponsible canine carelessness is the result of my work in reporting the dog fouling on Agecroft Road West. Dog fouling which, to remind you, took place seconds after dog and owner had left their house, right in front of my eyes.

Apparently though, having the act witnessed and reported by a local Councillor is not enough. I am now told that since I didn’t manage to get the offender’s name (it’s owner’s name, I presume), no prosecution papers can be served. Instead, the best that can be done is to encourage the whole family to accept a formal caution, which has no practical effect, but in theory will be taken into account next time the offender is caught and, after surrendering his name to the witness, prosecuted. Oh, and the whole thing needs to be broadcast live on Sky News and then immortalised forever on the back of the new £20 note. Otherwise there really isn’t enough evidence.

Cast your wearied mind beyond the acres of red tape that apparently separate me from common sense on this issue, and ponder the strangely international flavour that this tale now takes on. I am told that the offender’s mother has told the dog wardens that her son has fled to Spain since the incident, and will remain there for “an indefinite period.” So, whilst I may not have extracted £50 from this filthy and respect-free individual, I have at least ensured that he’s fled the country. Prestwich now has its own Ronnie Biggs.

I think I may have taken this as far as I can. I have had a look on the Interpol website, and he’s not on there. The Spanish embassy don’t seem interested either, and I can’t afford a private detective. But apparently his Mum has accepted the caution, and the streets are safe once more.

Rick