The end?
This weekend may be my last.
On Saturday afternoon I am going “sphereing” with Tamsin. This is an “extreme sport” which essentially involves strapping oneself inside a gigantic transparent sphere and being rolled down a hill.
I bought this “experience” as a gift for Tam for her birthday, expecting one of her mad friends to offer to accompany her. I was quite happy to drive the pair of them there and back, and watch from a safe distance. Unfortunately, due to a date-clashing tragedy, no such friend is available and thus I am forced to undergo the undoubtedly joyous pleasure of rolling round and round inside a massive rubber ball.
And then, after that, I have agreed to go ice skating with a couple of friends of our’s. Which means that in the unlikely event of emerging from the sphere with my cognitive function still intact, I have the dubious delight of gliding without any control of my limbs across a frozen surface, surrounded by braying 12 year olds pointing at me as I hurtle towards the barrier and my certain death.
It is “disco fever” at the rink as well, which means that the entire scene will be set to a Euro Dance soundtrack. I always pictured my final moments to the sound of a lamenting military band of some sort, and possibly thousands of weeping onlookers. But it seems like it will be the Venga Boys.
I have never quite understood the appeal of ice skating. Entering a slippery surface with hundreds of other people nearby, every one of whom is wearing a pair of knives on the bottom of their shoes, is surely never a wise move. It becomes doubly silly when one’s hands are likely to be on the ground, and thus definitely in harm’s way, for most of the time.
I fear this may be the last time I post. If so, I leave my collection of Simon and Garfunkel albums to the local branch of Oxfam, and my casework to Cllr O’Hanlon.
Have good weekends all.
Rick
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